Monday, July 20, 2009
Usually at night I lay down with Carson & sing him a couple songs. Tonight when I started singing some tune, he sleepily said:
"No, Mom. I want the one about how the mommy's gonna buy me some toys and a horse."
He was referring to "Hush little baby, don't say a word, Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird" etc. Greedy little buggers, aren't they?
The other day we were in the restroom of a restaurant. Carson was pulling his pants down in the large stall to pee in the toilet. I mentioned that I had to go too, so I'd go after him. Drawers down at his ankles, he shuffled to the side of the toilet and seriously--and generously--offered to scoot over so we could both pee at the same time like him and daddy. Knowing there were other customers in adjoining stalls, I brought my head down to his level and quietly reminded him of a previously discussed plumbing lesson, the natural result of which is that mommies always sit down to pee. He tilted his head back, a big, knowing smile on his face, and as he was nodding (and peeing), said loudly, "Oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh! I GET IT!"
This one isn't funny, just interesting.
Carson: Daddy, today we saw a man at the store who only had ONE LEG!
Trent: You know, Daddy works with a lot of people at his work who only have one leg.
C: You DO?!
T: Yeah, I help them learn to use a pretend leg or learn to walk on crutches.
C: A PRETEND leg?!
C: Why do they still have one foot left?
T: Because the other foot got hurt really bad or got really sick and they had to take it off.
C: Long, thoughtful pause. Well, where is that leg now?
T: Well, uh, it's...buried in the ground. [He looked and me and kind of shrugged and I nodded my approval of this abridged version.]
C: WHY do they bury it?
T: Because if a leg is not attached to a body, then it just turns into a bone and it doesn't work like a normal leg.
C: Huh.....Can I have another popsicle?
Carson: Mom, I know what God is thinking about.
Mom: You do? What is He thinking?
Carson: He's thinking that we're gonna have 3 kids in our family and that we're gonna have a dog.
M: [chuckling] Oh really?
C: Yes, and we're gonna name the baby Max and the dog Shasta.
M:Well, I think you have a better chance of having another baby than getting a dog. But we'll just have to wait and see if God puts another baby in my tummy. And, you know, buddy, that takes a really, really long time.
C: Oh, I KNOW, Mom. First your tummy has to grow big, then you go to the hospital, then I have to go stay at Mimi's, then I go camping and THEN we can have a new baby.
Carson is experimenting with knock-knock jokes. This is the one he tells over and over, all day long, in its many jibberish incarnations:
Me: Who's there?
C: Mucka-baka-booka-zonk. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
But then, tonight, Daddy tried to start dishing back and forth with Carson on the knock-knock jokes. First, he messed up one of the oldest ones, about banana, banana, orange you glad I didn't say banana. (He started with orange.) Then he told this classic:
Carson: Who's there?
C: Dwayne who?
T: Somebody let out the...wait...the water is...wait, how does it go again?
His tragic attempt, and horrible butchering, of a simple knock-knock joke, just sent me into a fit of giggles. And I mean, a FIT. I couldn't gain my composure, and I'm not going to lie, I peed my pants a little. My homework assignment after this blog post is to look up some knock-knock jokes that Carson could try. And then? I'll try to find some even easier ones for Trent.