Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Oh for the love.

So, in case you haven't heard, forget everything I said about the private blog sitch.  It was much ado about nothing.  After messing around with all the settings, the permissions, and preparing to manually enter in over 200 email addresses of wonderful and supportive friends & family, I found out blogger only allows you to invite 50 people.  Wamp, wamp.

So, plan B, which was actually the original plan A, is that I will be blogging on our other blog, which is www.brazenlillybaby.wordpress.com.  Starting this week, I'm going to be posting over there, so I can get as comfortable as possible with the setup.  It is password protected, so there is still privacy for the pictures, which is what our agency cares about.  The password throughout our time in Thailand will be my maiden name, all lower case letters.  You're still welcome to email me at brazenlilly@hotmail.com if you'd like to ask for the password.  If you go over there right now you'll see pictures of Sydney as I'm experimenting with the picture posting.  :)

While I'm here, I want to give you #2 of my top 4 prayer requests, b/c this one is kind of a biggie.

Will you please pray for my Asher's heart?

It's kind of the biggest deal of this whole shindig.  See, just to recap if you're just joining us, Asher has been living with a foster family in a rural area of Thailand since he was 4 days old.  A mom, dad, 2 big sisters and a 5 month old baby. Tomorrow he will turn 20 months.  This family has loved him, fed him, comforted him, played with him, lived life with him for as long as he can remember.  It is the only life he knows.  He's only ever seen one other caucasian person, and he wasn't too excited about her.  :)  Our agency pursues adoption with birth relatives, then with Thai nationals (including, I understand, the foster family if they are interested or able) before allowing a child to be adopted into the US.  So I believe that coming into our family is now the best option for our son.  I believe he can heal and trust and bond and attach.

But, friends.  He is going to be so very sad.  And probably scared.  And hurt.  And sad some more.

I don't know exactly what I'm hoping for, because it would be weird if he just walked in and smiled and hugged us.  Weird as in something is wrong in this child's brain.  I guess I'm just praying that we will see progress in his attachment to us as quickly as possible, and that his grieving will not be prolonged, that he will begin to see us as a safe place.  We plan to comfort him as best as we can, while honoring and respecting the fact that he has every reason in the world to be freaking the heck out!  I don't know what that's going to look like.  Probably what gives both Trent and me the most anxiety is wondering how bad it will be and how--IF--we will be able to help our new son.

A friend of mine said she is praying that after looking at our pictures Asher will have dreams about us.  Another friend said she is praying that he will hear our voices (we sent a recording on a little pen) and recognize and be comforted by them.  And I guess I just ask that throughout this whole crazy month coming up that you will think of him and pray for him. Pray for peace in his heart and mind, and for us, that we will have wisdom and know how to comfort him.

10 comments:

Behn and Meg said...

I've been following your journey for a while. So exciting that you're finally about to go meet Asher! I will be praying for his little heart and hope that everything goes as smoothly as it possible can. And, if it's ok to let me (a stranger who's been blog lurking :)), I would love to follow your other blog while you're in Thailand. If you're not comfortable with that, I understand :) In any case, my e-mail is ruggedcross124@hotmail.com

Becky said...

Praying here, Jen!! Love you!

Aimee L. Salter said...

Oh, wow. We sure are praying for you guys. And not in that passing "Lord please bless them, amen" way, but in that teary-eyed, "Holy-gazoobies, no one knows what's going on here but you God - HELP!" way.

Your heart and wisdom for your new son will be blessed. And there will be a day when he remembers no other mother / father / family but you guys. Until that day comes, I'm praying for peace and patience for all of you.

But for Asher I also pray he'll see the truth: that regardless of the newness and scariness of things, he is surrounded by love. Nothing brings a child out of fear quicker than love. And he's got a WHOLE LOTTA LOVIN' comin'.

Jeremy said...

As a mom that has adopted 3 beautiful Thai toddlers, I will pray :)-- Kim

Ellas Mama said...

Oh Jen it brings tears of joy to my eyes that you finally get to meet your son soon. I am praying for Asher's heart that he will know you are love in his life and that your time getting to know him will strengthen that bond.
Our prayers are with you.
Susan and David Rudberg

The Brandt Clan said...

Praying, praying, praying!!! Love you!!

Hayley said...

I WILL be praying. For Asher's heart and for your continued sensitivity and patience.

Nina said...

Praying for the covering of precious hearts I love! (all five)

{Jess} said...

Honored to pray for sweet Asher!

Molly said...

If he's been with the same family, that is a great sign. It means he knows love, his brain knows love, and he will (in time) transfer that love to you guys... Just know that even if everything feels terrible the first few weeks, it will be ok. This is one of the best posts I've read on adopting toddlers http://jodyrlanders.com/2008/06/surprise-1/ It's just a great reminder that however you feel, you are NOT alone and it DOES get better.