I am woman! Smell me!

So, I know I've commented a few other times about the identity struggle that we girls go through when we become a mom (not to mention turn 30) and although we wouldn't trade our lives now for anything in the world...every once in a while we miss being young(er) and thin(ner) with more time and money on our hands and not much else to worry about other than what outfit to buy next or what movie is opening this weekend. (I know it was a run-on sentence.) I was telling a friend this week about a moment I had this summer where I was reliving that little internal struggle. I was in California with my parents and Carson, visiting our wonderful relatives. One day my beautiful teenage cousin was out by the pool with another young, beautiful teenage family friend. When I went over to them (they were showering Carson with attention) one of them said to me: "You smell nice. What kind of perfume do you wear?"

To be honest, I can't even remember what I actually mumbled out, but I do remember all the thoughts that went through my head. I was thinking first: wow-SO glad I at least showered today! But also I was a little embarassed, concentrating really hard to remember if I had even used perfume once since Carson was born! If I have, it certainly would not be enough to use the present tense of a kind of perfume that I "wear," but rather, "Well, once I wore ___________ on New Year's Eve." Also, perfume is approximately #382 on things I need/want to spend my precious pennies on. I can't afford present-tense perfume wearing! I've thought about that a lot since that day, kind of putting the act of perfume-wearing up on this pedestal of things that a woman who has her act together would do. I mean, a woman who is in her sweats all day doing laundry with no make-up does NOT need perfume. But I don't WANT to be in my sweats all day doing laundry every day. (some days...OK.) So, I have made it a goal of mine to have myself together enough to want to wear perfume at least a few times a week. That means, I'm bathed, clothed and going OUT of the house, where I will experience social interaction with other adults. Howie--thanks for giving us that little bottle of Abercrombie and Fitch perfume as bridesmaids gifts five years ago. I'm using every last drop, and it makes me feel like an active part of the adult world again!