Sydneyisms

[I meant to post this last week, but I got food poisoning! At least I'm assuming that's what it was. Either that or some strange intestinal bug that made me violently vomit for 24 hours straight. Fun! I was completely useless for packing day and open house night, and then the next morning I gingerly made my way back into the world of solids just in time to go camping for 4 days. That's my excuse.]

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After many installments of Carsonisms, I'm pleased to present the very first edition of:

Sydneyisms! Miss Syd has arrived late to the talking game, and is still finding her vocab voice. Many of these words and phrases I've only pieced together through repeated context, as they sound absolutely nothing like the word she is attempting. But we are making strides daily! I have a strict rule about imitating baby talk in person, but I bend the rules when writing it out phonetically for YOU to sound out. Here are a few Sydneyisms, in addition to normal words that she can pronounce clearly:

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I wah= I walk [put me down]

I do!=I'll do it myself!

Baby=doll or human infant, usually Kaitlyn or Wyatt

Abby= Abby Cadabby from Sesame Street or our friend Abby Grace

Wah=Abby Cadabby's wand

Kaka=Carson

Uh= said in conjunction with a person means "I want" ie: "uh-Dada" or "uh-Jojo"

peeze=please, (of course)

I yuyumo= I love you more

apapammm= a popsicle

uhfwee=shoes (Not kidding. This one stumps us but it extremely consistent.)

ow-high=outside

ah-gah=all done

I ha= I had it first [not Carson]

I hit=I want to sit here. You move.

home= I want to go somewhere other than where we are--if we ARE at home, it means she wants to leave

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Although she speaks like someone 6 months younger than her, Sydney is visibly trying to imitate words we pronunce for her and trying out her consonants all the time. Our favorite mumbles she does is when she "prays" for dinner and "counts" to ten. It's basically just cute little squeaky grunts, but she copies our inflection perfectly.

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Here's some pictures from a lazy day last week with our little talker. And no, as a matter of fact, I don't trust her inside with a popsicle, nor do I trust her to wear a shirt. I can only afford so much Oxyclean stain-remover, people.

I yuyumo, Birdie.

Confession & secret dreams

Carson the chatterbox still has a few speech impediments and quirks. One of them is that he cannot seem to pronounce the word "secret." He says "swee-krit." This is a post of dreams, confessions and sweekrits. Confession: sometimes I watch Oprah. THERE. I said it. It's usually when Sydney takes a late nap and Carson is occupied. If it's an appropriate topic, I may even leave it on when Carson comes in the room. It's not very often, but often enough that once we saw the O magazine on the newsstand and he said, "Look, Mom! It's your friend!" Hehe. [sheepish laughter] Don't judge.

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ANYway, a few weeks ago I caught a part of an episode about people who are extremely successful in super fun careers. One was the Cake Boss (never seen the show, but heard it's fun), one was a genius florist who designs amazing, over-the-top creations for places like the Plaza Hotel. One was a stunt woman. I didn't see the other interviews, but the gist of it was: they all followed their dreams, and because they pursued something they LOVED to do as a career, they became successful. (Which, if I may tangent, is a big pet-peeve of mine with Oprah--her catch-all theology/philosophy/spirituality. She interviews all these famous people who say they just envisioned success, told the universe their desires and it came to pass. Huh? Now there's a bunch of lovely people doing these very things and still working for minimum wage in a dead-end job. When is she going to interview them? Hey, I said I watched. I didn't say I loved.) But for these few lucky ones on this particular episode, they managed to have their dream jobs and seemed giddily happy in life.

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I happen to be casually job hunting right now. Subbing is OK, but the sporadic nature of it is hard on me, my kids, and our childcare providers (aka: grandmas). I would love to have a consistent one-day-a-week job, or even 2 half-days. Combing through search engines and job web sites is a DRAG. I have acceptable skills in many areas, but exceptional skills in precious few. And no one is hiring for smart-aleck blogger--there's a gazillion of those. The process, along with Oprah, got me imagining my secret dream jobs. My dream jobs are based on the ratio of enjoyment of the activity to amount of labor involved.

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Dream job #1: Be a singing cartoon voice.

My biggest dream job would include singing, because it is the activity that I enjoy the most that involves the least amount of hard work. I've been blessed to have a few occasions in my life where I got paid to sing, like weddings and such, and I'm not going to lie: it is great. Now, if I take the best part of that--the singing part--and take away the worst part of it--being in front of lots of people--then I imagine being the voice of a cartoon would be perfect! No one would be thinking about me, Brazenlilly, and what I was wearing, how my hair looked, or how pitchy I was, because I'd be in a studio able to do retakes and wear my sweatpants. DREAM. JOB!

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Dream job #2: Party planner for rich people.

It might not translate on the blog, but I actually really love planning my kids' birthday parties. I love looking online at different party spreads and trying to mimic what I can. I love deciding on cupcakes and decorations. But there's always one large problem that keeps me from creating the world's most fabulous party--money. Parties that pull out all the stops cost a LOT of money. Even little po-dunk, backyard parties for siblings and cousins cost a lot of money. If I had the connections, I would offer my services to wealthy patrons who were willing to pay for the convenience of having a creative, hard-working mommy-type to throw a kickin' party. Favors, special drinks, center pieces--the whole shebang. Baby shower? SO many ideas. Kid's birthday party? HUNDREDS of theme options. Seriously, my mind is whirling just day-dreaming about this. So, if you know of anyone who fits the category, send them my way.

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Dream job #3: a writer. That gets paid.

In case you couldn't tell, I love writing. Blahblahblah...I could do this all DAY! I process everything by writing. I can write for hours and be happy, other than tired wrists and shoulders. The reason I'm *ahem* one of the only one of my friends who still blogs on a regular basis is that I really, truly love expressing my thoughts and emotions about my crazy/boring life--especially my life as a mommy. I make time for it. My dream would be to be able to have these thoughts published--and actually get some money for them! Not those "publish your own book" deals that costs the writer $5K. Now, this dream I've actually semi-looked into. But to be honest? I have no idea how to go about it. If you want to drown in overwhelming internet blahblah, just google "how to get a book published" and spend 20 minutes. You'll want to cry. I know I did. So, if anyone has any leads or suggestions on how to go about pursuing this dream, I'm all ears! But for now, I will continue to write my little brains out on this here blog, and you, all three of my readers, can read for free. It'll just be my dream hobby.

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So, what is YOUR dream job?

Let the waiting begin

Thanks, everyone, for your comments and encouragement on our exciting step in the adoption process. It does seem confusing to say "YEAH! We have up to 2 years left! Woohoo!" But that official wait couldn't begin until we were on the list.

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I think I was misleading in my previous post, which I went back to edit for clarification, but I thought I'd take a minute to tell you about my understanding of the waiting list, the matching process and travel approval. The bubble burst is this: while we are only #15 on the list, we have been given an estimated wait time of 10-12 months for the referral of a specific child, and (recently lengthened) a further wait time of 9-11 months before we are approved to travel to Bangkok.

I want to be clear: this is BRAZENLILLY's paraphrasing of this process, pieced together from official paperwork, stories from other adoptive parents and casual conversations with our agency workers. I will probably get some of the details wrong, and I welcome any Holt Thailand parents to gently correct me when I do!

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The Holt program in Thailand has been in place for over 30 years, and is a relatively small program. One thing I like about this program is that, when an infant is relinquished, Holt Sahathai (sister org) works hard to find a family member or Thai family willing to adopt the child before turning to an American or European adoptive family. It seems to take the better part of a baby's first year to thoroughly investigate these options, and for the Thai government to confirm that, indeed, this child has orphan status, an adoptive family is the best option, and the Thai government approves this plan of action. Most children are between 9-12 months when the Thai government releases their information to Holt to be "matched" with an adoptive family.

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The government releases to Holt the names of children in need of homes in groups of 4-5 each quarter. These can be children of any age or need. Holt and Holt Sahathai then refer children to prospective adoptive families, also averaging 4-5 each quarter. THAT is how we move up (or is it down?) the waiting list--each quarter as more families on the list receive referrals, we will get closer to receiving OUR referral for a child. But here's the thing--that average is only that: an average. For instance, one quarter, the group of children released for referral included a sibling group of 3, an older child with special needs, and 2 healthy infants. If the #3 person on that list had not expressed an openness to sibling groups or special needs, they would not have received a referral that quarter. This quarterly process is why the #15 can still mean a wait time of up to 12 months for a referral.

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Also there is the issue of gender. Evidently, more adoptive families request girls. So our openness to either gender could actually work in our favor! If we are #4 on the waiting list, and the 3 families in front of us requested girls, we could jump to #1 if a baby boy was being matched. If we are number #1 or #2 at referral time, we could be matched with a boy OR girl.

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When I was learning about this process, my mind was instantly whirling and stressing, wondering who EXACTLY would be looking at pictures of precious children and comparing them to family files. How do they decide if gender is not an issue? How do they KNOW?! I believe we do have the option to decline if a child referred to us has an issue outside of the parameters we declared "an openness to." How do I know that the child referred to us will be THE ONE?! Then I had an amazing conversation with an adoptive mom who has become a dear friend. Her daughter was adopted domestically. She said, with the fiercest conviction in her eyes: "There is only ONE. God knows exactly who that child will be, and just as he created your biological children in your womb for you and your husband, he is creating this child in the birth mother's womb knowing that he or she will be a part of your family forever. It will do no good to fret about it, because He already knows." That revelation has given me such peace. It doesn't mean I don't still pray about it every day, pray for our child, his mother, and for the perfect match, but I don't WORRY about it anymore.

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As you can imagine, seeing our child's face, and knowing WHO he or she is will be an emotional, thrilling and humbling experience. However, I can only imagine that after we have accepted a referral, the following wait until we hold him in our arms will be even more agonizing than the first half of the wait! I won't go into detail, but the wait from match to travel has been lengthened recently due to Hague convention laws and immigration red tape. :( But God's timing is perfect, and until it is my turn to blog from Bangkok, I will follow and pray for other families who are so much closer, like Kyle and Robin, who hope to travel in October to meet their second son from Thailand, and the Pabens, who are in Thailand right now.

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Oh, also? When we get our referral, our main payment of $11,290 is due! So guess what will help me pass the time? Financial aid and fundraising! It's like God is providing all these 16 page applications to keep my mind off the wait. Isn't that so kind of Him?!

15! FIFTEEN!

FIFTEEN is my new favorite number.

Why? You may ask. Because it means

WE ARE ON THE WAITING LIST!

I waited to post until we got this news, but our dossier went to DC and back in record time. Such an answer to prayer! It was all so unknown and SO out of our control--I told Trent I'd be happy to be on the wait list by Carson's birthday (Sept 22). Our courier came through, the papers were back in my hands within 10 days, I overnighted them to the Holt offices to be received yesterday. They were super efficient and processed it all within a day and we were informed today that it is on it's way to Thailand, and we are family #15 on the wait list to be matched with a child in the program. People. This is a HUGE step! HUGE. Getting that dossier out of my hair feels like I just lost 10 lbs. (If only!)

I will try to articulate my understanding of the wait/match process in a post very soon. (The wait is estimated to be 9-12 months, then another 9-10 months until we can travel.) But right now I don't want to articulate, I just want to
SHOUT!

FIFTEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PS: I had a fun post earlier that I took off and will repost in a couple days, b/c I wanted this news to take precedent.

Pleasant Surprise

Here's what happened. My sweet friend, Erin, who won the drawing, confessed that she really entered to be supportive, not out of her great love for the necklaces. She kept the Suubi necklace and told me to do whatever I wanted with the 2 silver necklaces. I decided the best thing to do would be to draw 2 more names! It tooke me a while to reprint all the names (I had thrown them away) and I was too lazy to video, so you'll just have to trust me. Thanks again SO much to everyone who entered! I know most of you, like Erin, were really doing it just to support me. :)

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So, I'm pleased to announce that the winner of this Premiere Designs necklace is:

MYRNA JAGGER!

Those of you who know Myrna will no doubt be as thrilled as I am that she won! Nor surprised. She's a lucky type of gal.

And the winner of this stunning Cookie Lee necklace is:

RORY COOKMAN!

Haha! Rory my high school bff whom I saw once in 10 years, and now three times this summer and twice in 2 days. :) How perfect. And let's be honest...not just anyone could pull this off and I know she can rock it.

Congrats to the extra surprise winners!

Shout out to the Lutherans

My friend Sarah posted this prayer this morning, and it just really blessed me as we start a long day and a busy weekend. Last Sunday in the message I heard, the pastor talked about how sometimes Christians rely on Christ as our Eternal Savior, but we look to other things for logistical salvation, ie: something to just "get us through the day." When we do that, it becomes and idol. I was very convicted by that. Not that I think I have to give up coffee, facebook and blogging, but that I need to seek FIRST the strength, energy and grace from God, not rely on these supplments as my first line of defense on a rough day. This prayer just hit that thought on the head, especially the second line. I hope it ministers to you too!

It is from the Lutheran Book of Prayer.

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Again, O Heavenly Father,
You have granted me strength to rise to the tasks of the day.
I thank You for Your mercy and love. Without Your power upholding me I should be unable to live.
Give me a spirit of gratitude for all Your gifts.
Above all, dear Father, keep me grateful
for the gift of forgiveness of all my sins through the merits of Jesus Christ, Your Son and my Savior.
Grant that whatever need, whatever sorrow beset my day,
my faith in this forgiveness may remain steadfast and firm.
Let no grief of pain, no doubt or gloom, come between me and the certainty of Your love.
If it is Your purpose to try me this day with difficulties for the body or the heart,
grant that I may, by Your spirit, conquer in this trial and hold fast to Your mercy,
knowing that the sufferings of this time are not worthy to be compared with the glory You have in store for me.
Make Your Word my joy,
Your counsel my guide,
Your presence my peace.
In Jesus Christ, Your only Son and my Savior. Amen

Money Well Spent

I've mentioned a few times that in these last eight months, I've been challenged and convicted to think more about global issues. It probably has to do with the fact that my child is (perhaps? is he even born yet?) at this very moment spending the first part of his life in an underprivileged country, a country where human trafficking is rampant. It's not as easy to be US-centric when our family will be so intimately connected to another part of the world forever. Don't get me wrong--I'm still a work in progress and am continually learning how to think beyond myself. Baby steps, right?
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One thing that I've really enjoyed learning about is, well, I like to call it purposeful purchases. I had heard of fair trade, and I can definitely see why that is popular. "Fair trade is an organized social movement and market-based approach that aims to help producers in developing countries obtain better trading conditions and promote sustainability." There are all kinds of products available to purchase on many websites, and my crude layperson's summary of the industry is that it encourages those of us in wealthy countries to buy a product (at a fair price) from a person in a poor country, rather than hopping over to the mall.
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But the purposeful purchase aspect, for me, comes in taking the concept of fair trade to a deeper, more personal level. It's when I know more specifically about who is making the product and how my purchase is creating a better quality of life for them. These are my favorites so far:
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Punjammies are gorgeous pajamas.

Their website describes it best: Each punjammi is created in an after-care facility in India by women who have been rescued, released or escaped from a life of forced prostitution. When one manages to escaped from this life of horror, she has few options where to turn. Aside from the emotional and psychological trauma, women formerly working as prostitutes cannot easily enter schools, return to family systems or secure jobs to support themselves in India. A high quality after-care center is one of the best options a woman has at rebuilding her life. Holistic aftercare involves quality medical care, emotional safety, education and the tools to create a new way of life for herself. Empowering each woman with an opportunity to learn a marketable skill and become a part of a viable business is the purpose of PUNJAMMIES™. In providing for her basic need to support herself, she sees that she has value far beyond what the lies have told her. She begins to see her rightful place of value – a princess.

So powerful! The cost runs higher than the pj's at Old Navy (most are $35), but, seriously, did you just READ that? That kind of horror is beyond what my mind can comprehend. To be a part of that healing is worth it. What an amazing and powerful organization. And I'm telling you: check out the jams. They are adorable. I think Sariska Safari is my favorite design.
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Nightlight is an organization that I stumbled on accidentally. My sweet cousin Nicole was wearing a really awesome necklace, and I asked her where she got it. She told me she got it from an organization called Nightlight who help rescue women from the sex trade in Bangkok. BANGKOK, THAILAND?! Yep! That Bangkok. The city I will be traveling to in (hopefully) a year and a half to meet and bring home my son or daughter. A city where boys and girls born next to my child will be in danger of that same trade in just a few short years. I immediately researched this group and was so encouraged to read that they are a Christian NPO whose mission is to build relationships and provide hope, intervention, rescue and assistance to women and children exploited in the sex industry by offering alternative employment, vocational opportunities, life-skills training and physical, emotional and spiritual development to women seeking freedom.

Now, I have to admit, I won't be able to shop this site as much as I would like, because the jewelry (hand-made!) is very pricey. All the best necklaces are over $40. (The one pictured above is $45.) But I want to promote them and I'm committed to buying something from them, because I'm so blessed by their ministry. Their name is based on Isaiah 9:2: “The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned.” I will never read that verse the same way again.
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The next 2 sites are also jewelry sites and have the coolest looking products! You may remember Suubi from our raffle. I purchased one of their necklaces to add to the prize package. Suubi was started when a family was in Uganda for their own adoption, and met some women who created and sold recycled paper bead necklaces. There was a need to open up the market-place for these necklaces, and this family sought to meet that need. The women in Uganda are coming up with amazing designs and impress the socks off of me. Several are $20 and under.
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31 Bits is the tre chic of the recycled paper bead biz. My favorite of their products are these gloriously chunky necklaces that are a total statement piece. You may remember that Kristen Howerton wore one of their necklaces when she was on The View. 31 bits was started by college students--college students from Southern Cal! They met 6 African women, also in Uganda, and saw these women trying to support their families with meager income from truly remarkable necklaces--but there was no market. So, these college students began to partner with these women and have created a fabulous--and fashionable--organization.
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These are just a few of the products that have caught my eye and my heart. I'm not saying that I'll never shop at Target or Claire's again (I mean, we are on a budget) but I love knowing about them, spreading the word about them, and giving them my business whenever possible. If you know of any other places to make purposeful purchases, PLEASE leave a comment and let me know!

Summer Misc.

We love our splash parks!

Daddy wouldn't rest until Carson had legit soccer cleats, shin guards and soccer socks. Looks pretty good, huh? He's been doing a soccer camp each Tuesday night.

Mommy went WAY against type and agreed to a SPONTANEOUS trip the kid's museum in town. The techno room:

The bubble room:

The make believe room with costumes and a stage:

The safari guide and the toucan:

Just my colorful kids doing their thing in the backyard:

A rare moment of affection for the camera:

Our trip to the beach was a mixed bag. A post for another day. Good sand, good friends, good fun. But approx 150 cars and trucks parked on the beach and so much fog we couldn't see the ocean. Won't be going to that particular haunt anytime soon.

But turn away from the parking lot on the sand and the socked in beach and you get a lovely shot of my sweets!

And the winner is...

If you are patient, you can sit through this video of the drawing...

If you are not, I will tell you that the winner is ERIN CHUNG! What is so awesome is that Erin was only able to buy one ticket--and she won! I love it.

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The second place winner is:

Kristi Templeton!

You'll notice there's no vid of the actual drawing of Kristi's name--I swear it was legit. There was some sibling rivalry happening that included a tug-o-war with the red bowl, threatening to have all of your names scattered into the wind. So I only got the after math!

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THANK YOU to everyone who participated in this! I kept a very close record of everyone, spreadsheet included. Even those of you who conacted me just today! It is a reminder to me of how many of our friends and family are supporting us in this adventure. It means the world to me.

THANK YOU!

We raised over$250! It was almost exactly enough to pay for the courier in DC, all the payments there, AND the Fed Ex shipping to and from. You are amazing!

Forced laughter

We're having another rough day here in the T household. I'm going to try to take my own advice, think about the big picture, take a deep breath and focus on something funny. I'm using my precious 30 minutes of quiet time for this. Nothing about today is funny yet, so I'll need to pull from other situations. Last night when I was falling asleep I felt something in my cheets. It was a Mike Wazowski figurine--you know, from Monsters, Inc? It made me chuckle. It made me think of all the random places I've found things placed by my kids. I thought I'd make a list of all I could think of.

I have found:
-Mike Wazowski in my sheets
-grapes in the oven
-play-doh in my coffee
-my camera in my shoe in the closet
-Mr. Potatohead's ear in Syd's diaper (that she was wearing)
-keys in the garbage and also by the back fence
-crayon in the garbage disposal
-plastic corn on the cob in the dishwasher
-Minkee in the recycling bin
-shoes in the bathtub
-my jewelry and various toys in the toilet
-sippy cup in Carson's dresser drawer
-wooden spoons under the bed
-goldfish and cheerios every where i ever step throughout the whole livelong day
-dinosaurs under my pillow
-lens cap under the slide
-Wii driving wheel (for Mariocart) in Sydney's crib

That's all I can think of right now. What crazy placements can you add to this list? Please. I need the distraction.

Adoption status update #2

I actually have something to report! We have reached a milestone this week. Our collection of dossier documents is complete. Several of the documents have been notarized, it has been certified by the Oregon Secretary of State, and now needs to be authenticated and legalized. What does that mean? Basically it's a series of confirmations by government entities, vouching for the previous entity and acknowledging our petition to adopt from Thailand.

I know you're wondering, so here's the checklist (that I've been staring at for the last 5 months) of things included in the dossier:

1. Certificate of Documentation
2. Assumption of Responsibility to Administer Postplacement Services and Approval of Family for Adoption
3. Notarized True Copy of H License
4. Notarized True Copy of Direct Service Agency License
5. State Approval Letter
6. Letter from Direct Service Agency
7. Adoptive Home Study
8. Reference Letters
9. Financial Statement
10. Federal Income Tax Statement
11. Statement from Financial Institution
12. Verification(s) of Employment
13. Husband’s Birth Certificate
14. Wife’s Birth Certificate
15. Marriage Certificate
16. Health Certificate(s) for every member of the family
17. Copy of Passports OR Social Security Card
18. Royal Thai Government Application for Adoption
19. Four passport photos of each spouse
20. Child opinion form
21. 8-10 family photos of family and dwelling
22. Agreement to complete adoption
23. Letter to Thai DSDW
24. Criminal background checks
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Sidenote: I would just like to point out that some of those things (like the health certificates from each of our doctors) were incredibly difficult to procure, and one little item on a checklist just doesn't do justice to the amount of work that was put into obtaining them. And some of them represent a form to fill out that is 6 pages long. Just, you know, for my martyr points.
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As I mentioned, several of the documents had to be notarized, especially the top page, the Certificate of Documentation. This was the one step done without a fee, thanks to a sweet friend. :) Then we took it to the Oregon Secretary of State, where they (for a fee) certified it with a special seal and signature, basically vouching for the notary. Then, tomorrow morning, we will Fed Ex it to a courier service in Washington, DC, where they will (for a fee) hand-deliver our precious documents to the US Department of State, where Hillary Clinton will (for a fee) sign and seal, or authenticate the top sheet, basically vouching for the OR Dept. of State. THEN, the courrier will pick up the dossier from Hillary's office, take it across town and hand-deliver it to the Royal Thai Embassy. The RTE will then (for a fee) legalize it with their own signatures and seals. Then the courer service will (for a fee) send it back to us.
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I'm very nervous about this entire process, especially having someone else be responsible for such important paperwork! Plus, the wait time on all these agencies is pretty vague. Your prayers are welcomed. I can't wait to blog that we have it back in our grubby little hands.
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THEN, when we have all the stamps, seals and signatures we need, we send the dossier to Holt (along with the $3000 we raised during the yard sale!). It will be approved and translated, then sent to Thailand.
Once Holt has our dossier, we enter: THE WAITING LIST.

Fun fundraiser!

OK, friends and family, we're trying an experiment. I saw it on the Starrchasers blog and loved the idea. I am offering an online raffle as a fundraiser for our Thailand Adoption. We are continually bombarded by small/medium miscellaneous fees and need to continue being creative to keep up. So, I'm trying this out from August 1-14 to see if it might be something you are interested in. If there is a good response, we have some ideas of other prizes--everything from movie tickets to weekend getaways. :) Feel free to give me any feedback or let me know if you or someone you know might have something to donate.

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HERE'S HOW IT WORKS:

Below you will see the first prize package of FOUR pieces of jewelry. The total value is over $110. For a "suggested donation" of $6 you will have your name put in a hat for a chance to win, or four for $20. (So therefore, $40 = 8 chances to win.) If you advertise this post on YOUR blog, or put it on your Facebook status update, you will get another "ticket" in the hat. Make sure I know that you have done so! Send me a message or leave me a comment. On August 14th, I will have my son Carson randomly draw one of the tickets out of the hat and I will announce the winner on the blog and deliver the prize to that lucky person. And the second winner--see below.

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You can donate in person, or by sending a check in the mail. Edit: p@ypal does not like to be used for this type of fundraiser (oops!), but if you live far away from me, contact me privately (email, facebook or leave a msg with your email) and I'll contact you with an alternative to mailing a check. That button can still be used for general donations towards our adoption fund.

HERE'S THE FIRST PRIZE PACKAGE:

I have three friends who sell jewelry from different companies. Each of them has been extremely supportive of our adoption, so I thought I'd take a chance and ask if they'd consider donating to this first raffle. They all said yes! Please let me know if you would like more detailed contact information for any of them to see more product.

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This first piece is one I've had my eye on for months. I first saw it on Jenny S. at church and loved it. It's called Urban Bloom. When she chose it as her donation, I tried to figure out a way that it would be kosher for me to win my own raffle, but I'm thinking that it would be frowned upon. ;) Jenny sells Cookie Lee Jewelry and I love everything I see on her. For more Cookie Lee jewelry and to contact Jenny, click HERE. The second piece is a very popular necklace from Premiere Designs. My friend Kelly started selling this line of jewelry and I've seen quite a few of our mutual friends showing up with this around their necks! It's called Round and Round. For a catalog or to find out about hosting a show, contact Kelly at grossfam5@comcast.net
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As of print time, I don't have a pic for the third piece in the prize package yet, but that's because my wonderful friend Stephanie lives a lot further away than the other two jewelry specialists! Steph sells Silpada jewelry, which I just heard about this spring and the catalog made me drool. I'll post a pic as soon as possible, but I know it will be amazing. You should check out their web site.
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The last number I added myself. I recently found out about a great org called Light Gives Heat who has a division called SUUBI. Suubi is the name of a group of women in Uganda who make and sell recycled-paper beaded necklaces. What they can do with this product will blow your mind. Light Gives Heat helps to market and sell the product online to increase sales and therefore provide a consistent living for women who live in an otherwise non-employable area. I thought this necklace, called "Confetti" would finish off this prize package perfectly. I may or may not have worn it several times in the last 2 weeks. :)


BUT WAIT! There's more! Kelly from Premiere Designs actually donated 2 necklaces, so I'm using this necklace as a second-prize. It is called Precious.


Please let me know if you have any questions, and be sure also to tell me if you are posting about the fundraiser! Thank you for being a part of this.

State of the Union

I started a little tradition when I was first blogging, even though I didn't realize it. I started writing birthday posts each year. Then one year, I blogged about something else entirely on July 30, and all 2 of my readers commented on the lack of birthday post. So, I'm back to my accidental tradition.

Today I turn 33 and am not yet old enough to care if people know my age. In some ways, my life has changed very little since last summer, and I still have wonderful warm fuzzy things to say about my family and friends, as they make my happiness quotient what it is. (Which is high.)

But the biggest change in my life has been our decision to adopt internationally, and it has truly changed me as a person--and we are still far from actually having a new kiddo in our home! Turning my focus outside of myself and focusing on the plight of orphans--not just MY orphan--has truly created a new passion in my heart. I find myself being more concerned about global issues and poverty. I find a few dollars here and there that I "didn't have" previously to help another family's adoption fundraiser or to buy more purposeful gifts that might help an individual in a developing country. Don't get me wrong--I'm still a selfish person, like most of us are, and I'm still a work in progress. But I'm so grateful for this renewal in my heart and spirit. I'm grateful for a new realm of education and inspiration that I've been introduced to, as well as some amazing people that have come into my life as a result.

My prayer this next year is for focus and patience, that I will keep my eyes on big pictures, rather than get bogged down in the daily. That I will be prayerful for our forever family of five, and not be stressed by adoption delays. That I will appreciate my role as Director of Development for the 2 kiddos I have already in my home, and not be overwhelmed by the vastness of that job description. That I will have wisdom in finances, and not be tempted by the things of this world, but that I will choose to live simply and make good choices. That I will choose to invest time and energy into my marriage, even when that status quo is acceptable and comfortable. That I will unabashedly share my new passion with others, with grace and heart, not with lectures and condescension. For I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes. And it is the core of my being and the foundation of any happiness or success I have in life.

Happy birthday to me!

Who is "lucky"?

I have a quick few moments (as Bird is sleeping and Monkey and Dad are at Target getting me a last-minute birthday card, I'm sure), and I was blog hopping and found one to share.

Here's a tidbit of adoption 101 that I've learned: adoption is not rescue. Adoptees don't like to hear how lucky they are or how grateful they should be, and it seems most adoptive parents don't really like to hear what saints they are for rescuing a child.

Now, don't get me wrong. At this stage in our adoption process, I don't mind hearing things like "We are so excited for you!" "I think what you're doing is a great thing." "We want to support you and your child, here's $10,000." That kind of thing. ;) But when our child comes home, I don't want him to hear from other people how lucky he is that we brought him to America, kind of implying that if he should never feel anything other than extreme gratitude towards us and his situation--which was totally out of his control. We (the parents) are the lucky ones, to be blessed with another child in our family, which is the reason we are adopting. (I believe it is possible to rescue someone, say from human sex trafficking, but you could do that without adopting.) Our future child is no more or less "lucky" to be in our family than our bio kids, and I'm sure all three of them will having varying degrees of appreciation for our existence at different times in their lives. :)

This is a short blog post from an adoptive mom of a child who was born with albinism. (Something I learned from this post is the phrasing of that last sentence. She is not "an albino.") Her conversation with a well-inentioned but nosey stranger at the local splash pad kind of pushed her over the edge. It is good food for thought.

http://shirlee-mccoy.blogspot.com/2010/07/myth-of-rescued-child-and-other-things.html

Interlude

We are in a crazy week between several days of being at the coast with Trent's fam and several days of having some of my fam in town. It's all good, it's just busy! I don't have time to post lots, so consider this your pictoral interlude. Also...STAY TUNED, because I have something very fun coming to my blog on August 1st. :)

The New Yorker (part 2)

This whole article in the New Yorker thing got me thinking existentially about parenthood realities and expectations. I mean, the greatest thing that's ever happened to you is also the hardest thing you've ever experienced? Seems weird, but that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

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It's a digression, but I have to tell you, my PFB (Precious First Born) and I had a DOOZY of a day today, which ended with me having to physically hold his bedroom door closed for 20 minutes so he would stay in. He was on the other side screaming and throwing heavy object at the door and trying to get out. This was the culmination of a 45 minute battle of the wills over a 30 minute quiet time. I know. Irony much? See, when PFB doesn't want to be in time-out or quiet time, he just walks straight out of his room and defiantly tells you he won't be doing quiet time. Ever. And/or he climbs up on the dresser, removes the wall clock and changes it to show the exact time you've told him quiet time will be over, brings it in to you without realizing his fingers currently fiddling with the changer-thing on the back are betraying his covert op. And when you express disbelief in his truthfulness, he falls to the ground and screams at your disloyal love that would doubt his honesty. And when you (near the beginning of the battle when you are still calm and) tell him that the Wii-motes will be in timeout for 24 hours if he's not in his room in 30 seconds, he pushes you aside, runs into the living room and grabs the Wii-motes, running out the front door into the street declaring that you will never, ever get them. And then, after the 20 minute tug-of-war on the door knob, PFB exits the room like nothing ever happened. And then? PSB awakes screaming from her 49 minutes nap. So, yeah, I'm going to stick with "hardest job ever."

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But THAT experience, on top of the processing I did in my last post, got me thinking about survival. This is a season in my life that will be gone sooner than I think. And even after a day like today, you might think I'd be glad. But I KNOW I'm going to be heartbroken when I no longer have itty-bitties in my home and in my arms. I don't want just to survive, but to thrive! So I started mentally cataloging things that have helped me, or things that I do when I'm on my game that I want to try to do more often. We'll make it a handy-dandy Brazenmommy's Survival Tips.

1) Find support.

Swallow your pride and ask for help. Find mamas who are in the same stage of life as you, who have had children with similar temperaments, etc. Ask hubby or grandma or auntie or a friend to please take the sweet little darlings out of your site for an hour or two so you can regain sanity. Get an intimate group of women with whom you can be totally honest, and don't forget to listen and encourage them as well.

2) Have balance, but choose to be positive.

I know I always appreciate hearing a "keepin' it real" story from another mom about a rought situation or day. It makes me feel like my kids and I are not total crazies. And I need those initmate friends that I can come to when things get BAD. But when other mamas are constantly being negative about parenthood, their children, their husbands, their prison-sentence/stay-at-home-ness, it really drags me down. I'd rather laugh a little about the insanity, then talk about how lucky we are.

3)Find something for yourself.

Blog. Make cupcakes. Sing in the choir. Get a pedicure. Read a novel. Grab a drink with a friend. GO ON A DATE WITH YOUR HUSBAND. Audition for a local musical. Get a part-time job. Whatever it is that will fuel your mind and body, make sure you have something to focus on other than child-rearing every once in a while.

4)Look at the big picture.

Someday, I will frame this quote on my wall: "The days pass slowly, but the years pass quickly." That sums it up for me! One of my favorite ways to get perspective is to glance at old pictures--and by "old" I mean a couple years old when my kids were babies. It reminds me how fast the time goes! It also reminds me how blessed I am. I also play a dangerous game with my mind and imagine what it would be like if one of my kids became very ill. Wouldn't I SO not care about the pee on the floor by the toilet? Wouldn't I be so much more patient with their squabbles? You may think I'm weird, but that little exercise slaps me a dose of reality and it's good.

5)Educate yourself.

Although I'd rather read a good novel, I also really appreciate when I find a good parenting book. One I loved was Grace Based Parenting by Tim Kimmel. I'm also re-reading Love and Logic for Early Childhood. (See mom? I do take your advice sometimes! She told me to re-read it.) I've got Strong-Willed Child sitting on my night-stand, on-deck. Please share in the comments if you've read one that you'd recommend. Nobody has all the answers and all children/parents are different, but it never hurts to seek out some professional help.

6)Build your faith.

Lord help me. Seriously. It is by the grace of God that I make it through each day. It is by the grace of God my children make it through the day sometimes. Whether it's worship music in the car, Scriptures in my wallet, a Bible study I am committed to...whatever I can manage in any given week, I can tell the difference it makes in me and in my parenting. I'm not sure if the Bible was referring to a child throwing a Buzz Lightyear at you when it says "He will not give you more than you can handle," but I'm taking it. I can handle this. You hear that, Buzz?! I CAN HANDLE THIS!

7)Learn to savor the moments.

Live in the moments. Don't miss these moments. Because they'll be gone before you know it. And we might not forget how hard it was, but we'll know it was worth it.

The New Yorker (part 1)

Last week the New Yorker magazine ran a feature ad (on the cover, even) called "I love my children. I hate my life." It is a fascinating read. I mean, is that even possible? What do you think? The gist of the article was that parenting, while promising satisfaction and fulfillment, according to academic research, leaves mothers and fathers feeling less happy than their childless counterparts. It stirred up all kinds of heated discussions on all kinds of websites. Some readers were shocked and angered at the brazen concept, while others shouted their agreement.

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I, as I more often find myself doing at this stage in life, tilted my head, squinted my eyes and said "Hmmm. Interesting." While the title itself put me off, I am neither appalled by nor in support of the concept. You see, I think being a parent is COMPLICATED. Day to day it can be a mixed bag of euphoria and despair. Heck, that can change by the hour. The subtitle of the article said "More joy, less fun." That is a little less caustic, no? Because unless you live in a world I am unaware of, parenting is really a lot of work. The daily grind of the minutia and the endless chores (he's out of clean underwear again, she spilled a large glass of something sticky all over the floor again, the sink is full of dishes again, none of their clothes fit again, your fingernails need to be cut again, I have to buy snacks for class again, we can't find your shoes AGAIN, you broke my one pair of sunglasses again, we're out of the-only-thing-you'll-eat-for-breakfast-Eggos again) is anything but fun.

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But I do bristle a bit at the title of this article, maybe because we don't use the word "hate" in our house. Maybe because I've been pouring over adoption literature that has made me extra-sensitive to language that is used around children and how that might affect their self-esteem and self-image. Fact: my main job right now is to be a stay-at-home-mom. Fact: one of my primary identities right now is Mommy. For me to say that I HATE my life sends an awfully strong message that I don't want to send to my kids. The attempt at softening the blow by saying "But I do love them" didn't really work for me.

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I'm not saying I can't relate to the research. (Especially a few mentions of parents in the midst of little/big battles of the will and wishing for adult conversations.) There have been many moments of parenting that I STRONGLY disliked. I find the entire role to be exhausting much of the time. I am overwhelmed to the point of tears frequently. Sometimes I feel SO LONELY and yet I am never ALONE. Yes, I'll admit. It does not make me HAPPY to change a poopy blow-out, move and install a bulky carseat, break up a sibling fight or wake up for the umpteenth time with a child for no good reason but that they'd rather scream than sleep. I agree and relate with the quote that "Loving one’s children and loving the act of parenting are not the same thing. "

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But what I cannot relate to? Is dissatisfaction with my life! I cannot relate to regret over having my children. My job is harder, my days are longer, my freetime is less, my correspondence is weaker, my clothes/body/hair are dirtier, my arrival is later, my butt is bigger, my privacy is non-existent. But my life?

IS. BETTER!

Even more? I am better.

Because I am a mother, I am a better person.

My love is bigger, my loyalty is deeper, my marriage is stronger, my faith is greater, and my joy--my JOY is beyond anything I thought possible before they came into my life.

So, you know what? Research be damned. (Sorry for the "d" word, mom.)

Swimsuit Edition

I need to give a shout out to Auntie Tara, who has kept Sydney in the cutest and latest swimwear this summer. Check out her other suit, displayed here in the backyard setting:

And continuing in her fashion-forward trend, Sydney got her hands on a mascara tube, and obviously had watched Mommy closely, for she knew just where the goopy black stuff goes. Click to enlarge this pic to see how much she got on her actual eyelashes. It's a miracle she didn't poke her eye out!

It seems we have a girlie-girl on our hands!